WorshipChicks #8: From Experience, Jenni Clayville

Hey Everyone!  Sorry we’ve been off the grid for a while.  I’ve been *ahem* dealing…um…with the slightly dizzying overture before the musical that is…my fourth child on the way!  I’m not sure why I just used that analogy for morning sickness, but there it is.  Anyway, I’ve asked my lovely friend, Jenni Clayville, AKA @jclayville on Twitter, to write a guest blog post for WorshipChicks for us this week.  Yay, what a treat!  Please check out her website here, and give her some love, people!  Hope you enjoy the post, and please feel free to join the discussion as always…

jenni

Have you ever…

… found yourself the only female in the worship team?
… had a difficult time “reigning” that person in?
… felt like you were always “fighting-the-alpha-male” on the team?
… found yourself with only ONE other band member at a practice… and he’s male?

Ladies… if you answered “yes” to any of these questions, know you’re not alone.

I’ve spent most of my last 15 “Worship Pastor Years” training and creating teams for student worship programs.  You’d be surprised how much training adult teams and creating boundaries for them match training up and creating boundaries for TEENAGERS.  I’m not an expert, by any means… but I do have personal experiences in what has worked well that I can share.  Let’s talk about it a bit…

Here is ONE NON-NEGOTIABLE we need to follow if we’re going to do this “right”:

Never be alone with just ONE other male in a practice!

Seriously, ladies… it’s better to just lead worship all by your lonesome self that Sunday morning than it is to subject yourself to this.  Sure… nothing may ever happen, but the Bible says not to allow even the slightest hint of immorality to be subject to question.  Our accountability is higher because we ARE in leadership so we need to make sure we are living our lives above reproach.  Plan ahead.

Now… to address some of the practical sides of the other questions:

Always be prepared – know your music before practice. Memorize it.  Know WHERE you’re going in the music and have a flow chart ready for your tech team.  You cannot ask your team members to be prepared if you’re not.  This shows your team you respect their time.  In return, they will respect YOUR time and you end up getting more done in a shorter amount of time.

Partner with the “Alpha-Male” – if you’re feel like you’re always “fighting” that one person (male or female), your best way to win is to partner with them.  Come along side them and give them certain responsibilities.  The reality is they are in search for their own significance in this whole process.  By partnering with them, you help them release amazing gifts God has given them.  This usually muffles their need to fight you for control.  It’s a win-win for everyone.

Always respond quickly – answer emails within a day.  Your team needs to know they can contact you and you’ll respond.  They need to be able to count on you.  Deal with conflict immediately… face-to-face is best.  Conflict is hard… but your team needs to know you (1) aren’t gonna ignore a problem, (2) value them and their feelings and (3) aren’t going to disrespect them AND aren’t ok with them disrespecting you.  If you respond to them quickly and in love… and they still are disrespectful towards you and your leadership position, it’s ok to cut bait for a bit and “give them a break”.  It’s better to do without the talent than it is to infect the whole team with a “diva”.

Okay.  So, now that I’ve unveiled some icky subjects.  Let’s dialogue.

Did I miss anything?  Has something else worked for you?

WorshipChicks is a forum for conversation among worship-leading women (and their allies). Read the post, join the conversation in the Comments, and feel free to blog and link to this post. Click on Mr. Linky below to enter your URL. If you just want to link your blog, but haven’t posted on the topic, do that with Mr. Linky, too! Contact me at any time with topic suggestions, ideas, and guest blog/post swap requests.

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