more fun than a wrecking ball


my house…a complete, all-inclusive, non-refundable, one-way-ticket train wreck. at least on the inside…

at least that’s what it feels like…

how can one so tiny wreak such terrible havoc? i mean. she’s, what…two feet tall? her little hands have a span of about two inches in width, three inches from wrist to fingertip. she doesn’t move very fast, relatively speaking. and with her sweet doe eyes, wispy hair and rosy cheeks, you even get the sense that she’s somewhat…harmless.

but that’s where you would make your fatal error in judgment, my friend. when she walks out of the room with a gleeful giggle and a toss-back of her head, she has a plan, and she will see it through. you see, what they don’t tell you in the hospital is that before their second birthday, they will become capable of committing heinous acts of house-wrecking, beyond your wildest imagination.

you laugh now, but soon you will know. unless you already know…then you’re probably actually soaking a Kleenex at this very moment and nodding your head in sympathy.

a list of my daughter’s current favorite activities (no joke):

1. removing movies from the shelves, and scattering them…in most cases, removing the covers first (VHS).
2. drawing on the kitchen walls, tabletop, chairs, floor – anywhere but on paper, really.
(her favorite medium is crayon at the moment, although she does work with pencil and pen, when she can get her hands on the supplies.)
3. throwing food from her high chair, kind of just to see where it lands.
4. pulling everything out of my handbag, swiping my pens and ripping up important documents.
5. standing on a kitchen chair, so she can reach and destroy: the salt and pepper shakers, coasters, hand soap, paper towels
(really fun to unroll) and my iPod and speaker system.
6. “helping” me load the dishwasher…which really means trying to stand on the open dishwasher door and pulling out all the
tableware, rearranging plates and adding whatever she can find on the floor to be washed.
7. book ripping.
and the most amusing…
8. laundry: her self-assigned tasks are 1. unsort piles and 2. pull everything from the dryer onto the floor so there’s more room in there.

but you gotta love her.

ps. in the time it took me to write this post, she has been able to enjoy three of her favorite activities.

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