Life With Boys…

(…Trudy. C’mon, Girl. Testify.)

Oh my goodness. I often say that my life is stranger than fiction…and it’s quite true. Although I really wouldn’t have it any other way. That being said, I can only guess that most parents of small children feel the same way. I’ll give you an example…

Life with Boys:

1. A collection of dinosaurs, mostly primary-colored and less than 4 inches tall, that would put Imelda Marcos’s closet full of shoes to shame…OH, and they “belong” in every room in your house…and sometimes even your handbag. Their favorite pond to swim in is also known as your bathroom sink.
2. There are an awful lot of bad guys tied up and placed in an awful lot of “jails” with jumpropes tied in an awful lot of knots (which you’re expected to be able to miraculously untie after three years of being knotted).
3. Mud. EVERYWHERE. We’re talkin’ faucets, pillows, pockets, nostrils, footprints four feet up the wall (how did THAT get there??)
4. The “Come Again” Phenomenon, wherein you’ve asked the child to do something fifteen times and he STILL claims he just didn’t hear you…even when he was looking you straight in the eye the last three times. 🙂 Oooooh yeah.
5. NO respect for Cinderella whatsoever. As far as they’re concerned, the only redeeming quality is the mice.
6. You begin to see things differently. Just about anything would make a great fort.
7. Bruises. On them, on you, on newly-purchased fruit.
8. You find yourself singing the theme from the 1967 Spiderman series over and over, from memory, as a backdrop to the action sequence your kids have chosen to perform. “Which episode should I do, Mom??” How do you answer that when you truly have NO preference?
9. Watching in horror as they careen down a bumpy hill on a bike with training wheels, take a header on the pavement only to rise triumphantly and exclaim, “Let’s do it again!!!” (Had to put the kabosh on that one, since Daddy wasn’t around to make Emergency Room trips and Mommy has this way of passing out at the sight of blood.)

*sigh* I admit…I frequently dream of the day Niamh says, ” Can we watch Strawberry Shortcake in Big Apple City again, Mommy?”

“Suuure, Sweetie! Let’s go get our tea set and peel-off nail polish and have a little slumber par…”

*POOF!*

Back to reality. Gotta go wash down the crocodiles again. Ciao.

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