Evil Pit of McBadness

Oh, how I have neglected you, my blog! It has been far, far too long.

So here’s the deal. I have come to a solemn revelation, which I’d like to, in turn, share with all of you:

I hate McDonald’s.

Sorry Michael and Ben. I know…but I’m still your friend. I was driving along this morning…no, afternoon…doesn’t matter…and began noticing the multitude of vehicles lined up at the drive thru’s of various fast food establishments and thinking, “My how they flock in droves to these places.” (Okay…sort of a mixed metaphor: flock…droves. But you get the idea.) “Don’t they know they are stepping across the threshhold of Food Hades?! Haven’t they seen Supersize Me? Don’t they know they are willingly becoming prime candidates for heart disease, cancer and a multitude of other horrors? Doesn’t a Quarter-Pounder with Cheese sound good right now? NO!! Stop it! I will not give…in…to…temp…tation…must……..resist.”

I glanced up and to my right to see the Two Towers of golden arches looming large on the horizon, with the very Eye of Sauron perched atop, burning a gaping molten-metal hole through the hood of my vehicle. I turned toward the building (without turning the steering wheel, mind you), pointed a steely, resolute index finger toward the window-stickie billboarded glass, and shouted (I’m not exaggerating) “Den of Sin!!!!!!”

Oh my goodness. You would not believe how much better that’ll make you feel. Try it sometime. Just drive by your local Mac-n-Don’s, roll down your window and shout away. What a release.

Ohp! Time for my Anger Management course – bye.


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